Family, Relationships

Divide and Conquer or just Divided?

My husband and I once did the math and realized that between the two of us, we spend approximately 14 hours per week commuting back and forth to work. We love our community and we love our jobs, so it doesn’t feel like much of a sacrifice, but it does mean that during the week, we’re not able to get much accomplished around the house other than making dinner, helping with homework, bath time, story time, bed time, cleaning up the dinner and making lunches for the following day. Everything else? That gets done on the weekends.

Stop me if this sounds familiar. Last weekend started off with Matt attending a men’s breakfast at our church while I took the kids to get Brady’s hair cut and do the grocery shopping.

After grocery shopping, I dropped Brady and the groceries off at home with Matt and took Avery to gymnastics. While Matt put away the groceries, took Brady to the library, fed him and got him down for a nap, I ran from gymnastics to the optometrist’s office to pick up some new glasses, back to gymnastics to watch Avery for a bit before going back home again. After Avery and I had lunch, she and Matt cleaned the pool filters, while I did the laundry and cleaned up the kitchen.


When Brady woke up, I took him to the park and then to do the Costco shopping while Matt and Avery made dinner. We managed to eat together before splitting up once again to do bath time and story time.

Sunday was more of the same. I taught Sunday school, Matt took Avery to children’s choir and later I took Avery to a friend’s birthday party. Matt and I didn’t even get to attend church service together, which is ironic since our church is currently doing a series called What Happy Couples Know. By Sunday night, we realized that our approach of Divide and Conquer was leaving us feeling a bit divided.

Date Nights

Last week, I wrote about the importance of having a weekly meeting with your spouse. This week, we’ve decided that we need to have weekly date nights after the kids go to bed (Yes, I am acutely aware that all of this scheduling makes us seem very Type-A. We are.).

In doing some research, we discovered that there are quite a few lists of at-home date nights out there. Some of our favorite suggestions were:

  • A tasting night (any kind of tasting: chocolate, cheese, wine)
  • Research a record in the Guinness Book of World Records and then try to replicate it (either as a competition or a collaborative effort)
  • Toast marshmallows over the fireplace
  • Build something together
  • Take a trip down memory lane and go through old photos together

If you’re looking for some creative ways to connect with your spouse in an already over-scheduled week, check out some of these resources:

The Art of Manliness

The Nest

The Marriage Laboratory

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